I am Ruta Gabalis - Life Coach, Integrative Therapist and RTT Practitioner. I am a member of National Council of Psychotherapists (NPC), and due to my particular interest in psychological trauma I am also a member of UK Psychological Trauma Society (UKPTS) and European Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ESTSS).
I grew up in an environment where no child should grow up. My father was an alcoholic who used to physically abuse my mother on a regular basis. Since the age of six, I used to stand in front of the drunken man and plead him to stop, ask the neighbours for help or call the police. During the day I
lived a life of an ordinary child, but at night I often found myself asleep with my ear to the electric socket while trying to listen to the slightest sound coming from my parents' bedroom ready to jolt to action and attempt to stop the abuse.
A few years later I found myself in the situation where life had lost all meaning, and I attempted to take my own life. My mother, the woman I protected my whole life, left me to die alone.
The mind has extraordinary survival skills and adopts a variety of coping strategies from disassociation, fragmentation of personality and denial to the reasoning that it is your own fault or that “others have been through far worse” and many more. In my case as one of the coping strategies, my mind had chosen to forget. Can you imagine my surprise then years later during the training to become a listening volunteer for the Samaritans, I remembered that I nearly died by suicide myself?
Now that I remembered, it took me about two years to learn how to live with the pain of rejection and lead a “normal” life, but I still felt broken inside. From the start, I refused to take antidepressants and was trying to seek the solution in mindfulness, Eastern medicine and various therapies. I found myself on a journey of discovery and transformation, and now I am a whole again. I can't say whether it is due to the last therapy I had or the accumulation of various interventions and learning. This is the reason I chose to become an integrative therapist because I believe that no one tool or therapy fits all.